


Reflections

by Wesakechak



Category: Neon Genesis Evangelion, Rebuild of Evangelion | Evangelion: New Theatrical Edition
Genre: F/F, Gen, Headcanon, Post 3.33, a bit dark
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-01-03
Updated: 2017-01-03
Packaged: 2018-09-14 08:54:47
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,578
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9172003
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Wesakechak/pseuds/Wesakechak
Summary: Asuka reflects on how she got her eyepatch.





	

**Author's Note:**

> Just a little headcanon. Part of a larger fic I'm writing. Follows Xairathan's "You Can (Not) Replace" VN. Written for Asurei Day and Xairathan. *Laughs nervously at first fic I'm publishing*

Asuka hadn’t had a good sleep since her return to the Wunder, and tonight was no exception. She found herself leaning over her desk and staring at the mirror that hung above it. Somehow it had survived the battle above the Geofront, even if the rest of her room had been turned into a hurricane. The dim lights that surrounded the mirror in her room cast her face in mellow light, and combined with her pensive frown Asuka felt she looked older than she was, even older than she was supposed to be. Letting out a small sigh, she tugged at the strap of her eyepatch, hesitating for a second. The Wunder was mostly asleep, only the small night shifts would be awake at this hour. Or anyone who couldn’t sleep, but she doubted that any of them would come barging into her room. Her attention turned to the other occupant of the room, who was peacefully sleeping. Aside from a few nightmares about being back in NERV that had catapulted her awake the first few days, Kyu had found had no problems sleeping, even though she was plagued various self doubts and unanswered questions that would have made Asuka a perpetual insomniac if she had to deal with them.

 

Instead she was merely a borderline insomniac, as Mari would joke when the two pilots would pass each other in the halls at night. They had been woken by some nightmare, or if they were particularly unlikely some nightmarish memory that would reopen some old wound on their hearts.  

 

Asuka tugged at the strap again. She needed to give her eye a bit of exercise, but she didn’t want anyone to see it, which was now a possibility given how her circumstances had changed in the past few weeks. There was a soft snore from the bed, and Asuka slumped her shoulders in relief. Kyu wouldn’t wake up, and even if she did then Asuka could just slip on the eyepatch again before she could get a look at what lay underneath. Glancing at the sleeping girl once more time, she slid off the eyepatch, keeping it tucked in the palm of her hand.

 

A red eye stared back at her, in contrast to the blue one she left uncovered. The pupil contracted, out of use and trying to limit the light that reached the retina because it felt too intense, even as the blue in her other eye retreated to beckon in the little light that the lights produced. Asuka sighed, and looked down at the book on the table.

 

It was a cookbook, printed in German, that she had taken with her when she had been shipped to Japan. At the time she had hoped to introduce her fellow pilots to the wonder that was German cuisine, but, she reminded herself, that hadn’t really panned out. She flipped to a random page and started reading, memorizing the ingredients and directions. It helped her exercise her eye, keep her German from getting rusty, and trained her to memorize things quicker.

 

All it did tonight was make her hungry though; the food on the Wunder, while better than nutrient pills, left much to be desired. Meat had not survived near third impact, any animals that were on the Wunder were used for their renewable resources, eggs and milk. Asuka looked up from her reading, her mind drifting to other memories, staring at her reflection in the mirror. Her red eye twitched slightly, and she flipped the page. When she looked down again she immediately regretted the action. A scowl formed on her face, and her mind drifted back to near third impact as her eyes shut.

 

* * *

 

_The explosions above her had quit a few minutes ago, and Asuka waited in her quarantine chamber. She couldn’t move much in the casket, and her body tended to disagree with her after being contaminated anyway. The only thing she could tell were that the tenth angel’s attack had ended, in one way or another. She couldn’t see anything, and she could only feel her left eye move, the muscles of her right eye simply contracted the empty air. Asuka felt an itch at the back of her head, the reason for her isolation making its presence known to her again._

_“Oh, that is unfortunate.” The ninth angel’s words were not said so much as placed in her mind._

_“Get out.” She tried to mentally push against the angel’s presence._

_“Why don't you get out.” It replied._

_Asuka took a moment to consider why it did use her voice. It had made its presence known to her a day ago, simply to taunt her. The best theories she had were that it didn’t have a voice of its own, it was mocking her, or it was so confident that it would succeed in its attempt to gain control of her body that it was getting comfortable. She’d have to ask someone once she had kicked its ass and Ritsuko or whoever was out there monitoring her deemed her fit to see the outside world again. Then she’d extort Rei for dinner, a week would be sufficient, as compensation for inadvertently getting her into this mess in the first place._

_“All three of your reasons actually.” The angel answered her question. Of course it could hear her thoughts.  “Yes I can. And I hate to spoil your happy little dream, but the vessel of Lilith is dead. The tenth has succeeded. Soon both of us shall be no more than a miniscule part of the new god.” It revelled in its apparent success. Asuka’s head shook as she tried to dislodge the mind that had latched on to her own. It was futile though, and the angel shuffled through her mind. Asuka inadvertently recalled random moments, random smells, sounds, textures._

_“Shut up! How would you know anyway?” She asked it. The containment system-_

_“Keeps things in. I can feel instrumentality beginning though. AT Fields weakening.” The angel’s laughter wasn’t her own laughter, instead the laughter of everyone she had ever heard. Synced perfectly together. “This is the end of humanity.” It explained. “Though perhaps this containment system will spare you. Would you know what being completely alone feels like?”_

_Asuka stopped struggling. If the angel was telling the truth then she was doomed. The despair washed over her like a wave. She retreated deeper into herself, bringing out whatever good memories she had. Yet for every moment of happiness the angel was quick to conjure up a moment of tragedy. “Sleep.” The angel suggested to her. Asuka felt like the ground underneath her had disappeared, and gravity had taken hold of her. She was falling, fading away into some other reality._

_She was Asuka Shikinami Langley, she reminded herself. The only way she was going down was kicking and screaming on her own terms. She recalled anything she could to keep her mind intact. Anything that was stable. Math equations, paintings, her mind flew back to what she had been cooking earlier. She recalled the exact measurements needed to cook it, how long it needed to cook, how it smelt, how it tasted. She felt hungry. She was probably plugged into an IV, and real food sounded delicious. It distracted her from her impending doom.  
_

_“No.” The angel hissed. Did she sound as cruel to other people, she wondered. “Now sleep and never awake.”_

_Asuka felt her head pounding. “You can go to whatever hell you came from-_

_-Because she isn’t going to.” A new voice finished her thought. It sounded exterior, and familiar. She felt a sense of relief as she placed a face to the voice._

_“Dead, huh?” She taunted the angel. Her remaining eye was suddenly filled with red light. Inadvertently she slammed it shut, her eye not used to light after days in darkness. Her body felt weightless and she got the sensation of raising, being carried by someone. The angel only shared a single thought with her. **Lilith**. Asuka felt herself being placed on the floor, leaning against hard metal. _

_When Asuka opened her eye again the harsh light had dimmed, though everything was still red. Except for the patch of blue and white that was directly in front of her face. Asuka glanced around. The quarantine chamber was ripped open behind her, and some of the pillars surrounding it had been knocked over, sinking below her. She was resting against a metal door that had been knocked off its hinges. Her hand tingled slightly as it touched the ground, which appeared to be a glass covered pool of LCL. It took her a moment to realize it was an AT Field._

_“Second child?” Rei was saying, prodding her cheek with a finger, “Asuka?”_

_“Wondergirl. Owe me dinner for this.” Asuka muttered under her breath. The ninth angel scrambled for control, filling Asuka with panic. It’s panic. Asuka managed to grin. All she felt was relief.  
_

_An unexpected sound was the next thing she heard. A light giggle from the other girl. Rei held her hand up to her mouth. “I am sorry to disappoint you, but that won’t be possible.” Rei said., lowering her hand as her expression grew serious again The angel in Asuka’s mind continued to protest, and then shoved through Asuka’s control._

_“Lilith. Why?” It growled._

_“You would be the ninth, yes?” Rei took a step back from Asuka. Asuka could still see, even if her body couldn’t move on her demands. Rei’s rescue, as strange as it was, only got stranger with the fact that she was naked. Asuka felt herself nod. “Get out of her head.” Rei ordered.  
_

_“Or else?” The ninth angel asked through Asuka’s mouth._

_“I force you out.” Rei didn’t say it as a threat, merely a statement of fact. Asuka felt her hand dart up, reaching for Rei’s neck. Then Rei caught it, looking unimpressed. She reached forward with her other hand, towards Asuka’s head. A strange sensation filled Asuka as the hand made contact with her forehead, and then continued on through. The angel shrank away, trying to hide. Asuka felt herself retrieve control of her body and she groaned, moving her right arm into view. It was bandaged, scarred. And it hurt to move._

_“Asuka, are you in control?” Rei asked, staring at her._

_“Yeah. What are you-”_

_“I am drawing the conscious of the ninth angel out of you.” Rei explained, then dropped Asuka’s hand. “Please remain still.” She recommended, furrowing her eyebrows and concentrating. Asuka complied, and felt the panic of the angel disappear as Rei’s mouth perked up into a small smile. She drew her arm out, clutching a glowing blue shape. Then she squeezed and Asuka felt a shriek imprint itself on her mind as Rei killed the parasite. Rei did her best to wipe her hand clean and stood up, offering Asuka her clean hand. Asuka took it, having no better option. Rei hauled her to her feet, draping Asuka’s arm over her neck._

_“So, could you always do that or…” Asuka began._

_“No. Not until a few minutes ago I think.” Rei admitted as she began to half carry half drag Asuka out of the room and into the hallway._

_“What happened. It told me you were dead.” She gestured vaguely at the remains of the ninth angel. Rei seemed to think about it for a second. Then she nodded and Asuka blinked, confused by the affirmation._

_“You could say that. I was absorbed by the tenth angel and myself and pilot Ikari began an impact. Yet I managed to keep my own identity and something stopped the impact.” Rei gave a small shrug. “I believe I am contained in the core of Unit One.” Rei continued as she set Asuka against the wall, then pressed the call button for the elevator._

_“Then what are you doing here?” Asuka demanded to know, her confusion giving way to annoyance._

_“This is an echo. I gained so much power I figured I could do something like this.” Rei looked at the back of her left hand, then brushed the fingers from her other hand over it. Then she showed it to Asuka. Asuka gagged. The hand was red and gooey. “Looks like this body is starting to lose its AT field.” Rei muttered. She knelt down in front of Asuka, reaching towards her again. Asuka tried to shuffle away, but Rei persisted and Asuka felt the bandages around her eye being pulled off._

_“Hold on. I think I should be able to give your eye back.” She told Asuka._

_“What?” The second child explained. Before she could protest further Rei closed her eyes and Asuka felt the side of her face heat up. Tissue started to grow in her eye socket and Asuka squirmed, even as Rei increased pressure, a strained expression on her face. Then she removed her hand and opened her eye, letting out an exhausted sigh. Asuka closed her good eye, testing out the new one. Rei bit her lip._

_“Oh no. I apologize,” She bowed her head._

_“What went wrong?” Asuka asked. It seemed normal. Rei opened her mouth to reply, then collapsed in front of Asuka. “Rei?!” Asuka exclaimed, forgetting her eye for a moment._

_“Can’t maintain this body.” Rei said, barely above a whisper. Her face was contorted in pain. “There are others out there though. Good luck Asuka.” She smiled, and then her body collapsed into red LCL. Asuka gasped, reaching out at what once was Rei. She stared at the puddle, speechless, until the elevator dinged. She heard someone get out, standing off to her side._

_“Princess?” Mari asked. Asuka glanced up, her gaze focusing on the gun pointed at her head._

_“Yeah, that’s me Four-eyes.” Asuka huffed. Mari’s eyes opened in surprise a moment later._

_“What’s with your eye?” She asked, placing the gun against Asuka’s temple. Asuka felt tired, confused, and she really didn't need to deal with anymore bullshit.  
_

_“Rei, did something.” Asuka offered vaguely. “Killed the ninth angel as well.” She explained. Mari nodded and lowered the gun, looking at the puddle of LCL in front of them. Roughly she dragged Asuka to her feet, and into the elevator._

_“Misato’s getting everyone together, we’re getting the fuck out of here.” Mari exclaimed as she handed Asuka off to someone else. Asuka felt a hand land on her shoulder, and another on her neck over her pulse. She glanced back to see a distressed Ritsuko tending to her.  
_

 

* * *

 

“Asuka?” Asuka felt someone shake her shoulder, and she jolted back into reality. It took her a moment to get her bearings. She was on the Wunder. She was staring at the mirror in her room. And over her shoulder it wasn't Rei but Kyu who had a concerned expression on her angelic face. Asuka did a double take, then gasped and quickly fumbled with her eyepatch. “Your other eye.” Kyu continued, blocking Asuka from replacing her eyepatch.

  
“Yeah. There it is.” Asuka spat. She immediately regretted it as Kyu shrunk back. “I guess you’d have learned about it eventually.” Asuka told herself. She tilted her chin, gesturing back towards their bed. “Guess I owe you an explanation. Don’t tell anyone else though.” She told the other girl. Kyu nodded, walking back to the bed and sitting down on it. Asuka took one last look at her reflection and then followed after her.       


End file.
